R.I.P. dear friend. 

     This is not a chimney. Nay. It is wrong. 

Behold...a chimney. 'tis glorious, no? Observe its wonder, its majesty. Bask in it's aura of supreme excellence. See its unrivaled craftsmanship. See the way it surmounts the house as a perfect edifice of  brick, holding the utmost point of roof it calls its throne like a valiant rook in a game of chess. A wonder to our eyes and the balm of our psyches. Yes.

Having kept so many of you waiting for so long,  I now make that wait worthwhile. Let us begin forthwith! Chimneys. They're everywhere (except Africa). They come in brick, metal, stone, and clay. Some taste better than others. Some are as clogged as a colon with no bran. Others are clean as can be. No matter! All chimneys deserve our admiration. Yes!

Now, let me say here I've good news. I have begun the process of increasing the number of chimneys on this planet (perhaps soon I'll have enough spare ones to send to Africa.) You see, most esteemed, most eloquent, most admirable reader, I have started frequenting my local garden shoppe (under cover of night) and have been acquiring bricks by the ton (slowly over many months). My back yard is slowly being built up into a city of homes for small controlled fires and their respective chimneys! Yes! So many of them! Many dozens of various heights. Last night, after completing one of them I brought out my stereo, powered by way of extension cord and sat amongst them playing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. The evening was majestic. I encourage you, O most estute and dedicated reader to begin building some of your own. That is all. Good night!

An Academic Dissertation on the Necessity of Chimneys

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stop and consider the vast variety of smoke pouring devices he has encountered during his mortal coil. Chimneys effect all of us in subtle ways we could never understand. From a simple methane leaking bathroom vent to massive smog spewing smoke stacks we owe our gratitude to them all. For without chimneys, Santa could never bring us presents. In fact, poor African children are never visited by Santa Claus because their straw huts have no chimneys. Do NOT argue that the huts have holes in the top. Irrelevant! These holes have no flue nor place sufficient for hanging stockings! But alas, I tangent, digress and have moved away from the issue at hand. My central point is, chimneys not only help factories not kill their workers from carbon monoxide poisoning, they also look cool. (I just noticed that "look cool" is almost a palindrome and is at least phonetically). They call to mind a more genteel time, inhabited by things like the steam locomotive device. They impress us with their endless variety of architectural designs. In this blog I will show the glory of the chimney and fire place. I shall post many photos of different kinds of chimneys. Please, I invite you, dearest reader, to come with me and  experience the joy, the majesty, and splendor of our friends of brick and mortar. I will soon open a way for you, too, to share in the magic by sending this humble blog your own photos of chimneys. Together, we will make the excellence of the chimney known to all on Planet Earth! Eff yeah, Chimneys!