Having kept so many of you waiting for so long,  I now make that wait worthwhile. Let us begin forthwith! Chimneys. They're everywhere (except Africa). They come in brick, metal, stone, and clay. Some taste better than others. Some are as clogged as a colon with no bran. Others are clean as can be. No matter! All chimneys deserve our admiration. Yes!

Now, let me say here I've good news. I have begun the process of increasing the number of chimneys on this planet (perhaps soon I'll have enough spare ones to send to Africa.) You see, most esteemed, most eloquent, most admirable reader, I have started frequenting my local garden shoppe (under cover of night) and have been acquiring bricks by the ton (slowly over many months). My back yard is slowly being built up into a city of homes for small controlled fires and their respective chimneys! Yes! So many of them! Many dozens of various heights. Last night, after completing one of them I brought out my stereo, powered by way of extension cord and sat amongst them playing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. The evening was majestic. I encourage you, O most estute and dedicated reader to begin building some of your own. That is all. Good night!